3 things to do when you want to give up as a sensitive person
If there’s one thing about us as highly sensitive people and empaths, we’re incredibly resilient. However, if we aren’t clear on our boundaries or aware of our own energy, we get worn down. We keep bouncing back because we love helping others! But over time taking on so much from other people, places or situations creates burnout.
And then you want to quit. Everything.
Because at the root of it all, and for ALL the reasons… it’s just too painful to keep going.
That’s exactly where I was not too long ago.
So grab a coffee or tea, settle in and let me share what happened. Or jump down to the
3 methods to help you when you’re ready to give up and quit.
Baut lets start with this shocker I first saw 6 weeks ago. Then again on Monday!
Things hit critical mass about 2 months ago when for all intents and purposes, my entire RENEWsletter mailing list disappeared.
And because it is an amalgamation of wonderful people like you I’ve gotten to know over the past 5 years, it was a big f****ng deal !
Every time I tried to login it was M.I.A. I wasn’t getting anywhere with tech support and then the covid-19 pandemic happened. That was the last straw on top of some major tech issues that also happened with building this website. Like 4 months worth of work being wiped out by an automatic update… and on and on.
Yet like you, and the other sensitive highly functioning overachievers we know, we are really masterful at getting stuff done. We roll with the troubles. Work it out. Get creative. We do all the stuff.
Until we can’t.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t do it anymore. All things work related stopped. All I could manage was sharing through Instagram stories.
Honestly. I was about ready to throw in the towel.
Not just on the newsletter, but on the whole idea of my business. And that’s a big life decision considering Id just amalgamated and rebranded my whole business model.
Now of course this was on the back of a bunch of other personal stuff that I was challenged with. And as you yourself may have experienced (especially if you were in the 2020 quarantine lockdown) we are definitely in new energetic territory here!
So all things together, it was the perfect energetic space to trigger an existential crisis. I know you can relate because you are likely going through something similar yourself right now having found this article.
Every single thought went through my mind:
- I loved what I was doing, but why was I still working so damn hard all the time?
- Why weren’t things taking off and why wasn’t I seeing results?
- Was I not listening to my intuition when things kept going wrong again and again?
- If I was doing something I loved and felt aligned with, wasn’t it supposed to be easy and just flow?!
I tried all the things. Then I tried not doing any of the things.
Then I took stock and decided that the common denominator was me.
So I figured it must be my fault!
But you see that right there?
That’s a whole shwack load of self judgement. That’s right. I said schwack.
Which rhymes with lack. And that’s really what this is about.
All the reasons you tell yourself you’re not good enough. You’re not going to make it. You’re not worthy. Someone else is already doing it. Someone else is doing it better than you possibly could. Fake it till you make it isn’t working and you just feel like an imposter. Blah blah blah self talk.
So you just want to quit!
This isnt specific to being a solopreneur, this overwhelm and self blame seems to be the empath’s go-to for any situation when all this energy builds up. And my friend, is what this post is about: how to keep yourself from quitting something you really want to be doing.
When actually it’s your own self judgment that’s in the way.
3 Things To Do
When You Feel Like Giving Up or Quitting
1. Remind yourself that how you feel is okay.
It’s okay, if not necessary, to have moments where you are full of doubt.
Because it’s like a reset where you have a chance to reflect upon what is working. And what is not.
Even if you aren’t ready to let go of your ideals just yet, you’ll likely find even a slight shift will be like releasing a pressure valve!
Suddenly you’ll have a lot of emotional space and be able to see things differently. And THEN you can decide if you should quit.
2. Try on a new perspective
Think of this situation like a new top or different brand of your favourite snack. Underneath is the same essential ( yes, potato chips are essentials! ) belief or goal. Yet you GET TO PLAY with a new way of how you are going to get the result you want.
Grab on to your favourite adjective and pivot, catapult, reframe, shift, jump or try on a different mindset!
Check out what peers are doing in your field of expertise. If your goals are personal, check out professionals on social media. Use your awesome sensitivity and empathic skills to feel into what they are doing and how they are approaching the same goals you have.
This is about looking at what works instead of falling into comparisonitis or feeling bad that you aren’t doing the same thing. Remember there is no competition. Only you can bring your special brand of amazing into the world!
3. Understand what matters to you. And why.
There can be immense satisfaction in working through hard times. Of getting to your desired result and acknowledging how strong you are for doing so. It can build confidence and make you feel inspired to continue.
But there is a difference between taking manageable steps in working towards a goal versus struggling because you think you “have to”
Take the time to understand what is motivating you and why it makes you feel good. Or doesn’t. Once you get it, knowing when to quit will be a no brainer. Without any guilt or attachments whatsoever.
It’s uncomfortable, but I offer up a personal share.
A few days ago when this happened with the mailing list (again) , I saw a familiar pattern of behaviour. I recognized that my frustration, anger and overwhelm to the point of completely ignoring the situation was basically just procrastination! About the fact that I felt I was unable to be responsible enough.
Subconsciously I guess I figured if I couldn’t do it right, it wasn’t worth doing.
Yikes! Talk about people pleasing 101
Yet instead of berating myself for feeling like s*** because this was old stuff that I thought I had cleared. I slipped into my figurative homeopathic case taking mode, stepped back and became the impartial observer of my situation.
It was one of the greatest gifts that training as a Classical Homeopath gave me: becoming the Observer without judgment. To look at the situation with a neutral point of view and then do some simple empathic fact-checking. From here I was able to make a couple of lists with some pros and cons and then decided to move forward again.
And would you believe that when I tried to log in again, the list suddenly reappeared!
The point I want to get across is, that sometimes it really is just a matter of getting out of our own way. By giving ourselves a break and letting up on our own self judgment so that we can reframe and learn from what hasn’t worked.
By using a different method such as non-emotional impartiality(aka looking at your situation as if it was someone else’s you aren’t emotionally connected to).
This frees up a lot of emotional and mental energy and lets you step into that feeling of where you feel more aligned. And what it is you really want to be moving towards.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. And if you need a little support and guidance along the way, I’m here for you.
I hope you found this helpful and relevant for what’s happening for you right now.
If you did, Let me know in the comments. I always love to hear from you!
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
COMMENT BELOW AND TELL ME
- Have you ever wanted to quit something so badly, but were able to talk yourself out of it?